Sin is a personal betrayal of God and to the person God is creating me to be. In that betrayal, God allowed me to feel the full weight of guilt, shame, and self-loathing that comes with sin. Not a pleasant place to be, however, quite effective at reminding me of why I sought God’s redemption in the first place. Being in God’s presence makes the stain of my sin all the more ugly and unbearable. When you find yourself in a similar situation, it’s always good to remember that seeking the Lord’s forgiveness is always humbling, though never humiliating. There is something so truly uplifting in seeking God’s forgiveness, and yet, we so often hesitate to approach him to confess our sin. Why?
While I know that God has forgiven me and has removed my sin as far away from me as the East is from the West, I still have to deal with me. I’m not as forgiving as God is when it comes to my faults and my sins. I fear that the moment I let myself off the hook, I will feel free to rebel against God again. Yet, I know, that until I let go of this, it will hold me back from experiencing the fullness of God’s forgiveness and love which Jesus came to give through his life, his death, and resurrection.The moment I confessed my sin and God forgave me, he erased it from his memory. So for me to hold myself accountable for something God doesn’t even remember is irrational and not what he would want. In not forgiving myself, I am once again defying God’s will for me in my life. I guess I better get working on forgiving myself and let God take care of what I will or won’t do in the future when we get there.
About the pictures:
Blocked Path - North Park (2005)
Open Path - Deer Lake Park (2007)