Friday, January 21, 2011

Love Already Mine

A single theme has run through the moments of my days this week – LOVE! It all started with a newsletter article written by a friend. He wrote that God could have made the decision to wipe the slate clean and start over with this mess up world of ours, but instead made the costly choice to redeem his creation. Why would God sacrifice his Son for a world who rejected him? I’ll let you read it in Larry’s own words:

Because God so loved the world. Not just the world that He created that was “very good.” Nor the world that is to come where “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain…” God so loved the crazy, messed up, rebellious, violent world that we all still live in so much that He was willing to come and plant the seed of redemption that would make it possible for our world to become as good as God could imagine it. God came to us and God is not leaving!

Then in a small group devotion on Wednesday, we listened to Chris Tomlin’s "Indescribable" twice. Within 24 hours, I heard that song twice again and the last time the radio DJ made a point of talking about one of the last lines of the song –“You know the depths of my heart and you love me the same.” How great is that! God knows everything – every pain, every sin, every inadequacy in me and he loves me the same as if they were not a part of who I am. Even if I could, I don’t need to hide those unlovable things in me from him – because he knows me fully and loves me as I am.

Today on the way to work, I heard a song by J.J. Heller, “What Love Really Means” and it brought tears to my eyes. Have you ever read something or heard a song and started looking for the camera that was obviously recording your life because it so accurately described you that it was unsettling? Well, this song is the story of my life. I spent decades of my life in despair aching for someone, anyone, to love me for me – not because of what I could do or for the person I could potentially be. I’ve done things (and sometimes still do) that I am so thoroughly ashamed of. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and the fear that if I were fully known by my friends and family, they would abandon me with great haste.

In this world of couples and families, I find myself alone and lacking the intimacy of those relationships wondering if I will always be alone. And this song reminded me that the kind of love I’ve craved in my heart all of my life is already mine. I have it without a husband or children. I have the kind of love that sees me and loves me as I am and it will not wilt or die or fade away. It will not fluctuate in intensity because of what I do or don’t do. It does not depend on my strength to flourish. I am loved! And so are you.

Read Larry Ruby's full article "For God So Loved the World..."

1 comment:

Green Grandma said...

No, Maureen, we would not abandon you, for surely our sins are much greater. It's all about that plank in our eyes.

You are not loved because of your goodness. We love you because you are you.