Monday, February 10, 2014

Love Changes You

My son's birthday is this week. He would have been 28 years old. Please don't be sad for me–I'm not. After God's inexplicable gift of grace, Bryan was his greatest gift to me. Some of the greatest lessons I've learned about God, I learned in my role as parent.

It was in experiencing the world anew through my child's eyes that God opened my eyes to the miracle of life all around me. And it was in caring for Bryan that God taught me selflessness and sacrifice. It was in coming to and knowing Jesus that gave that selflessness and sacrifice true meaning and purpose. Much of what I know and understand about my Heavenly Father, I learned from my relationship with my son. I know the all-encompassing love I had for my child and therefore can to some small degree comprehend the love God has for me. In forgiving Bryan's childhood indiscretions, I learned a little bit about the forgiveness of God–how he never stops loving me in my sinfulness but reaches out to me to embrace me in his grace. And it was in enduring the event of my sweet child's death and in living life now devoid of his presence that I can begin to fathom, at least on a human level, the great pain of separation that God knew when I was lost in my arrogance and rejecting his love for me and denying his rightful place in my life as loving God and Savior.

So many more things I have learned about God and about my relationship with him as his child through the relationship I had with my precious boy and I am so grateful to God for the twelve years Bryan was in my life. My son's presence in my life changed my entire existence. Perhaps that's the greatest lesson of all–love changes you. And the perfect love of Jesus changes me to the very core of who I am.

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 1 John 4:9-12 (NIV)


Green Grandma said...

I know you said not to be sad for you, but I can't help but shed some tears. Sending hugs and prayers, my friend.

Harley Allen said...

Beautiful as always! Your posts about Bryan helps me put a smile on my face when I think of Graham. He would be 34 this summer.

Don Kendrick said...

Many hugs and prayers, Maureen. Lovely remembrance of your Son.

Audrey said...

It is always a miracle when I meet people who make something wonderful out of something horrible. Your love of Bryan and God has taught me a lesson about steadfastness I never really understood before knowing you. You bless us with your writing!